My anxiety has never been what I would call overwhelming. It’s more like a faint whirring in the background of my life. I can tune it out usually. But lately, when I don’t, it morphs into this sense of waiting for the other shoe to drop. And while some folks’ other shoe is a lightweight flip flop that floats, I’m pretty sure that my other shoe is going to be a steel-toe work boot that could cause a concussion.

You may have heard the age-old question, “If a tree falls in the forest, and there’s no one around to hear it, does it make a sound?” It’s an interesting one that philosophers have used for hundreds of years to explore the tension between perception and reality. It illustrates that in order for us to experience something, we have to be aware of it in the first place. 

Picking a word for the year isn’t always an easy thing to navigate. We pick “humility” because we want to be more humble. We pick “forgiveness” cause we want to be more forgiving. All of a sudden, what is supposed to be a lens to see through turns into a goal to be met. Not only that, but if we are being honest, the goal that we might morph our word into can be a bit tougher than the simple New Year’s Resolution. It’s one thing to be on your phone less or go to the gym every now and again- it’s a whole different ball game to think about who you are becoming.

Becoming. Seek. Trust. Confidence. Hope. I have chosen words before that I desired for God to grow in my life in some way. I wanted my focus to stay on those words with the hope of spiritual growth in my life, with a goal in mind. I wanted to become more like Christ; I wanted to seek after the Lord in all that I did; I wanted to build an unwavering trust in God–full dependence on Him; I wanted my confidence to be in the person of Jesus rather than in myself; I wanted my hope to be in Jesus rather than in my circumstances. 

My word for last year was WATCH. At the end of 2022, my brain was full of plans, dreams, and many things I wanted. Some were self-focused, but most were well-intended ways that I felt would help my family or be helpful to others. I had done my research; I had a plan and was ready to go! For anyone who knows me, I loathe projects that take time. If I have an idea, I'm ready to go tomorrow. But as 2022 ended, I felt a pull to slow down my plans and wait to see what God was unfolding.

Where do you turn when you don't know what to do? How do you move forward when you don't have the information you need to make the best decisions? I found myself in an unknown place in 2023 and desperately wanted God's guidance. I needed to understand His will for my life. I needed His wisdom over my wants. This deep longing for awareness is how I landed on my 2023 word: WISDOM.   

This past Saturday was Epiphany. It is a day that the church has historically marked to celebrate the revelation of Jesus as Savior, not just to the Hebrew (or Jewish) people but to the whole world. The moment in Jesus’ life most often used to celebrate Epiphany is the visit of the Magi, the wise men or three kings who traveled from far away to bring gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh to Jesus to worship Jesus as King. 

If you had told January 2023 Sam everything that would happen in the year ahead, she would have snorted with laughter. 2023 was a year of unexpected joy and unexpected grief. I experienced beautiful things like going on an Encounter Trip to El Salvador but also experienced the grief of losing family members unexpectedly. However, this year has shown me that letting Jesus into the unexpected can bring something beautiful from broken things.

I grew up without social media, cell phones, or the internet. The simplicity of that era meant that life was veiled; you had no idea what your friends were up to or if there was a big party you weren't invited to. Discovering such details was akin to playing the role of a detective searching for clues. Given the brokenness of my home life, my world revolved around friends and the need to have them all in my life. People and conversations fuel me, as I love bringing joy to others and desire the same for myself. Learning that people aren't exactly like me has been shocking and mostly disappointing. As an adult, God blessed me with a husband and a best friend who are both introverts - what a sense of humor He has. I used to think it was because I never gave them a chance to talk, but the truth is, I needed the perspective of people who I knew loved me.

Close your eyes for a moment and think of a one-word description of how you feel right now. I know, I know - you're reading, but just for a moment, take this time to get still and quiet - what comes to mind about how you feel? Many of us are challenged by the pace of our lives and the continuous bombardment of thoughts that race through our heads. So much so that we may default into a robotic stance of just trying to get through another day. Eventually, physical, emotional, and spiritual numbness can set in. 

For a writer, a blank page is both exciting and frightening. It offers freedom of inspiration as well as potential frustration. Even though there are endless opportunities to create, the possibility of finding yourself stuck is just as real. Today, in the first week of 2024, we find ourselves holding a journal with a bunch of blank pages and a pen. Nothing has been written so far.

We engage in the spiritual practices of stillness, prayer, and reflection not to shed more light on ourselves but to see ourselves in light of who Christ calls us to be and the full life He invites us to experience if we trust Him. Christ's love is abundant and never runs empty, so we are free to give it away. 

"Together" is not just a concept; it's a way of life that profoundly impacts us. We need each other to become the people God created us to be. It's in our togetherness that our lives are transformed, and the very life of God is exchanged among us as we give ourselves to one another. Our collective display of God's love is a powerful testimony to the world. In coming together, we bear the integrity of His image and the influence of His love. 

Our journey of transformation is not a one-time event but a continuous pursuit of Christ-likeness. Just as an artist meticulously sculpts a masterpiece, God shapes us to be reflections of His character.

As we stand on the threshold of a new year, our hearts are filled with hopes, desires, and dreams. We long for success, happiness, and fulfillment, and we're eager to set our goals and resolutions for the year to come. It's only natural to aspire to a brighter and better future, but as we do so, let us also remember the importance of surrendering our plans to God's will.

We find ourselves amid the tension of the messy middle - the space that resides between the year we've left behind and the one that is off on the horizon. It is here where we often get caught up in the trap of fixating on our destination or nostalgically holding onto days that have passed. It's precisely in this middle space that God extends a compelling question: "Why are you here?" It's not a rebuke or a judgment; rather, it's a gentle invitation for Him to engage with us, lavishing boundless compassion and grace.

The past year, with all its twists and turns, has been a journey of joy and challenge, victories and defeats. We've danced through the highs and trudged through the lows, and in the midst of it all, God has been weaving a story—a story uniquely ours. In the stillness of reflection, we uncover the hidden treasures of the past. It's like God's way of giving us a spiritual magnifying glass to examine the intricacies of our journey. As we revisit the moments that made our hearts sing and the ones that brought tears, patterns emerge—patterns that reveal God's hand at work.

For as much joy, beauty, and delight that took place over the past twelve months, there are places where we felt the sting that comes from spending our days living in a broken world. The echoes of the past year linger, leaving us with wounds—some visible, some hidden. There are those of us that 2023 served as a year marked by loss, adversity, suffering, and disappointment. In some way, these disappointments can feel like a death; something died within us - a dream, relationship, circumstance, etc.

From the beginning, God gave us a desire for delight and the means to experience it, so it’s no wonder that delight comes naturally to us. As humans, we are led by what we love! So it's not a question of if we delight, but what we delight in. All around us, there are things that spark joy, spur delight, and move us deeply.

In a world that moves at the speed of a swipe, we often allow our digital memories to languish in the cloud. Even though our lives are constantly documented through the lens of our smartphones, we tend to underestimate the powerful spiritual tool that resides right in our pockets. Our phones, with their vast collection of photographs and social media posts, are a digital scrapbook, capturing the moments that define our lives. In a way, they serve as a time machine.