Free
"For freedom, Christ has set us free; therefore, stand firm and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery." Galatians 5:1
"I share these words with you so that in me, you may find peace. In this world, you will face tribulations, but take heart, for I have overcome the world." John 16:33
Insight
I grew up without social media, cell phones, or the internet. The simplicity of that era meant that life was veiled; you had no idea what your friends were up to or if there was a big party you weren't invited to. Discovering such details was akin to playing the role of a detective searching for clues. Given the brokenness of my home life, my world revolved around friends and the need to have them all in my life. People and conversations fuel me, as I love bringing joy to others and desire the same for myself. Learning that people aren't exactly like me has been shocking and mostly disappointing. As an adult, God blessed me with a husband and a best friend who are both introverts - what a sense of humor He has. I used to think it was because I never gave them a chance to talk, but the truth is, I needed the perspective of people who I knew loved me.
Over the past year, my focus has been on MOW for 2023 - FREE. God has guided me through an amazing experience with anxiety, helping me understand my desire for Him above all other desires. Anxiety, identity, and security are interconnected. My struggle began in childhood with abandonment and criticism, shaping me into feeling unworthy and like a disappointment. I laid it all on the table with God a couple of years ago, praying not to feel broken. He began working in me. While my need for closeness with others remains significant, God stretched me in uncomfortable ways to find my desire in Him. He clarified that I would never be truly free if I depended on people around me to fulfill what only He can do.
Freedom in my life means my heart isn't on my sleeve, and anxiety takes a back seat to God's provision. It's not a magic pill or a one-and-done scripture reading, but it takes work. God does the work, and I follow the teacher. Pain and disappointment can bring strength and healing if you pour them out and ask Him for help. It's not a quick fix, but the journey can be beautiful. Many times this past year, I felt the pain of rejection, overcome by anxiety, but quickly asked Him for help - not to fix the moment, but to stretch and make me uncomfortable in ways that fixed my life. I never thought to ask to be uncomfortable, but God used it for my good and His glory. I haven't depended on others for joy but on Him.
This took the pressure off my relationships, making them healthier and better than before. God hasn't healed my anxiety, but now I see how anxiety can lead to a more profound dependence on God. It allowed me to know His love in ways I wouldn't have understood if He removed that thorn, and today, I am grateful that He hasn't. My prayer changed from asking for my anxiety to go away to asking Him to use it, teach me, and allow me to help others. The journey is the most crucial part of my relationship with God. Don't confuse disappointment with God letting you down; He uses everything for good. Trust His process, not the one you think is best. Slow down and trust that in the best and hard parts, He is with you, for you, and working in all things, no matter how difficult, to bring you to who He created you to be.
Reflection
What is in the way of your freedom? How can you start today to honestly and maybe painfully pour out your heart to start that life with God?
Can you trust Him to allow you to stretch in what's most uncomfortable to bring you closer to Him?
Where are you seeking joy in your life?
Prayer
Father, thank you that You don't let us live in a way that is not our best. You don't give up on us when we seek others to fill only what You can fill; You allow us to find lasting joy only in You. You are faithful and patient with us. Help us see you in the hard parts and trust You in the journey. Thank you for allowing us to be a part of Your perfect plan for our lives as we continue to walk in Your will. Amen.
Cindy Stauffer, Administrative Assistant at the Wilmington Campus, wrote today's devotional.