Without Those People
Carry one another’s burdens; in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2
Insight
Carrying our own burdens can be so wearisome. Sharing those burdens with others feels like it may make things worse. This is because vulnerability implies risk. Nevertheless, we have this innate craving for intimate connection with others. This past Sunday, Pastor Mike said, “Human beings are made for connection, but we have settled for acceptance.”
We would rather be accepted by those around us instead of known by those around us. Why is this?
Many times, we settle for this because we prefer to carry our burdens alone. It’s not that we like having the burdens only on our shoulders. It’s more that we are fine with the crushing weight so long as nobody else sees that we’re struggling. This allows us to minimize our risk of shame, embarrassment, or judgment.
We often try to appear as though we have it all together, taking our curated photos and Instagram stories and plastering them on the internet for everyone to see. We’ll even go out of our way to type out long, happy, light-hearted captions. Maybe it’s the “Monthly Photo Dump” caption that highlights everything good that happened over the past 28-31 days. But what happens when we only have one good day all month? How do we share our lives then?
We’ve tricked ourselves into believing that being alone is easier and better than being known.
We also settle for acceptance because we are uncomfortable with our own feelings. The idea of stepping into someone else’s messy life doesn’t appeal to us, typically because we don’t want to sacrifice our own semblance of peace for someone else. Or, maybe we don’t want to sacrifice our own reputation for being in community with someone who’s outside of our social groups, or maybe even someone those in our social groups may look down upon. Maybe our own anxieties tell us that we need to lighten our own load before we can help someone else. While that may be true, we often tell ourselves this while refusing the help that we actually need to do just that.
The truth is that living in isolation is never encouraged. Scripture tells us in many different areas that we are called to help, to walk alongside, to have meals with, and to spend time with our brothers and sisters in need (Romans 12:13, Proverbs 3:27, Philippians 2:4, Matthew 25:44-45). We are instructed to show up for people. We are to put on the armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18) and then we can aid in helping our neighbor put theirs on too. Shouldering burdens doesn’t look like checking in once, listening once, and walking away. It looks like walking alongside someone, being vulnerable, creating a safe place, praying, encouraging, and sharing: meals, stories, and our lives.
There are people all around us who are struggling with something - every single day, hour by hour, minute by minute. It may be the cycle of addiction, a mistake that feels unforgivable, a marriage that feels like it's failing, a broken heart full of grief, and a host of other things. If you are married, check in on your spouse. If you have a brother or a sister, check in on them. If your parents are still with you, check in on them. If you have even one friend, send them a text or make a phone call.
When I’ve gone through difficult seasons, I’ve been so very fortunate to have people come beside me in tangible ways to offer support. Without that support - without those people - I truly don’t know where I would be.
And it’s not just the big, life shifting hardships that we need to shoulder others through. We also need to shoulder the little shuffling changes that happen in the day-to-day as well. Stepping in for those smaller burdens strengthens us for the bigger ones to come. It gives others and ourselves the safety we desire. And that safety is necessary for us to fully connect with each other.
Reflection
Who can you reach out to for a check in? Is there someone in your life that you already know needs help shouldering a burden?
How have others come alongside you during a burdensome time? Make it a point this week to reach out to them and express your gratitude for their presence and love.
Prayer
Father, thank you for the scriptures that remind us how to live with one another. May we yield to them, God, letting the words become life in our hearts and action in our own lives. May we sit with You, spend time with You, and take a posture before You that creates space for You to show us how to best care for those around us today. We love You and we thank You, Jesus. It’s in Your name we pray, amen.
Port City writer Sarah Banks wrote today’s devotional.