The Good of Others
The way you want others to treat you is how you should treat everyone else. Luke 6:31 (TPT)
Insight
One critique I often hear about Christianity is that it discourages self-love.
In the eyes of my college-aged peers, Christian theology demonizes thinking about yourself and caring for yourself. In their understanding, Christians are encouraged to see themselves as dirty, rotten, and unworthy. I don’t blame them for having this perspective; after all, I myself have heard preachers speak out against the self-love crusade. I myself have forgotten that because of the cross, my identity is not defined by my sin and brokenness, but the goodness of my Savior. I forget that I am worthy of love and salvation because He calls me worthy. I have often mistaken the call to humility as a call to self-deprecation.
It is true that God calls us to live others-centered lives. He calls us to lay down our lives for our friends (John 15:13) and count others as more important than ourselves (Philippians 2:3). But this doesn’t mean that God wants us to shame ourselves, neglect ourselves, or perpetually beat ourselves up internally. It doesn’t mean that God wants us to tolerate self-abuse or abuse from others. A sense of self-worth has a place in the Christian life.
The difference for the Jesus follower is that self-love must be leveraged not only for our benefit, but for the good of others, too. Our self-love should inform how we love others. When we recognize our own needs and relational desires, we become more aware of what we ought to provide for others in our relationships. The treatment we crave from others is the very thing we should be giving away.
Because of Jesus’ sacrifice, we are worthy of grace, compassion, and patience. We love—and need—relationships where we are heard, seen, respected, and mentored. When we become aware that Christ’s love for us has made us worthy of love from ourselves and others, we can then turn around and recognize that those around us deserve that same love.
Christ’s greatest commandment is two-fold. First and foremost, we are commanded to love God—and loving God means we love others “as we love ourselves” (Matthew 22:39). The thing that many Christians often miss is this: if we do not love ourselves, we cannot properly love others. If we cannot extend grace and compassion to the sinner in the mirror, we cannot extend mercy to those around us. Jesus’ commandment underscores the importance of self-love. If we do not recognize our worth and value in Christ’s eyes, we cannot fully appreciate the worth others possess in His eyes, too. If we don’t love ourselves, loving others “as we love ourselves” means we don’t love others at all. If we see ourselves as worthy of abuse and maltreatment, treating others “as we want to be treated” means we will perpetuate abuse and maltreatment.
Reflection
What was the last time you experienced disappointment in a relationship? What relational need did that experience expose, and how can you work to meet that need for others in your relationships?
How does your sense of self-worth affect your ability to love those around you?
Prayer
Abba, thank you for calling me to love others as I love myself. Remind me that if I cannot see myself as Your beloved child, I will not be able to fully recognize the worth and value others possess. If I cannot accept your forgiveness toward me, I cannot fully forgive those around me. If I cannot treat myself with gentleness, I cannot be gentle with Your children. Create in me a self-love that is not selfish. Remind me that my worthiness comes not from my righteousness or good works, but from Your work on the cross. Lord, orient me toward others today, and empower me by Your grace to treat them as I want to be treated. Remind me that we all deserve to be treated with dignity, value, and respect, because of Your sacrifice. Amen.
Port City writer Kate Redenbaugh wrote today’s devotional.