Feeling Something Deeply
When I heard these things, I sat down and wept. For some days I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven. Then I said:
“Lord, the God of heaven, the great and awesome God, who keeps his covenant of love with those who love him and keep his commandments, let your ear be attentive and your eyes open to hear the prayer your servant is praying before you day and night for your servants, the people of Israel. I confess the sins we Israelites, including myself and my father’s family, have committed against you. We have acted very wickedly toward you. We have not obeyed the commands, decrees and laws you gave your servant Moses.
“Remember the instruction you gave your servant Moses, saying, ‘If you are unfaithful, I will scatter you among the nations, but if you return to me and obey my commands, then even if your exiled people are at the farthest horizon, I will gather them from there and bring them to the place I have chosen as a dwelling for my Name.’
“They are your servants and your people, whom you redeemed by your great strength and your mighty hand. Lord, let your ear be attentive to the prayer of this your servant and to the prayer of your servants who delight in revering your name. Give your servant success today by granting him favor in the presence of this man.”
I was cupbearer to the king. Nehemiah 1:4-11
Insight
The Bible is not an ancient text detached from our current reality. It tells God's incredible story of redemption, rescue, and restoration through Jesus Christ - and therefore, it is so incredibly relevant, helpful, and challenging to us in the world we live in today.
Take, for instance, the story of Nehemiah. Like many of his countrymen, Nehemiah was living in exile. He resided inside a foreign land because the Hebrew nation had been defeated and captured by their enemies. One day he gets devastating news about the current state of his homeland of Jerusalem. God's holy city, along with the temple, laid in ruin. The broken walls made it appear that God's promises and purposes were broken too.
“This is not how things are supposed to be.” Nehemiah uttered these words, and so do we. Our current world feels broken. Many of our lives turned upside by the Coronavirus, with people losing their jobs and incomes. The tragic reality of racial injustice and inequality can't be ignored. Brokenness feels extremely heightened for many of us.
How should we, as followers of Jesus, respond when things are not as we want them to be, not as they should be? We only need to look at the story of Nehemiah. As soon as he heard the news, Nehemiah's instinctive, natural response was first to feel something deeply. He sat down; he wept, he mourned. When confronted with the brokenness around us, we should feel brokenhearted and weak. It is okay to weep and mourn; not doing so prevents us from experiencing healing.
Nehemiah didn't sit in his mourning forever. Nehemiah felt something deeply and responded by praying something desperately. Who we respond to is just as important as how we respond. Nehemiah looked first to the God of heaven. Through prayer, Nehemiah praises God, confesses sin, clings to God's word, remembers God's faithfulness, and requests God's favor. Instead of ignoring the pain or attempting to solve the problem, Nehemiah took the posture of desperate dependence on God.
Nehemiah starts with praise and ends with a petition because he understood that prayer isn't primarily about answers, but instead access. To commune means to communicate and cooperate with someone intimately. When we pray, we get to talk to and work with God, who sustains and upholds everything. How we pray is determined by how we see God. The posture of a life with God is a desperate dependence on God.
And that's where things get tricky. We don't like to depend, wait, or experience tension. We want to get to work and do big things like Nehemiah is getting ready to do, but very few of us are willing to go through the gut-wrenching things did first. We want the finished product without the process.
What if the process isn't as scary as it seems or the process as difficult as we thought? Nehemiah felt something deeply, prayed something desperately, and saw something different. At the end of his time of praying, Nehemiah says, "Now I was cupbearer to the king." He was cupbearer to the king before he started praying and fasting. He was cupbearer to the king before he heard the news of the brokenness of Jerusalem.
Yet, in light of his time of praying, Nehemiah saw his position with a new prospect and new purpose. When prayer is our posture, we will see a purpose in our position. Prayer is about access to God while our position is about access to people, problems, and opportunities to help. Aligning with God's heart aligns us with God's hand.
When we feel what God feels, we'll be ready to do what God does, which means we need to learn to pray, "God, make my heart more like your heart." Doing big things for God starts with praying this small prayer to God. We want the final product without the beginning process. What if the process begins with getting before God in a time of communication? What if it entails allowing that connection to change our hearts to love what He loves, and to be broken for what breaks His heart?
Reflection
How would you describe your heart's current state as you witness and respond to the brokenness in our world?
Where do you need to display a posture of prayer and dependency?
Prayer
When I see the brokenness around me, God may mourn, weep, and feel the pains of others. I will not lose hope when all hope feels lost. Instead, I will turn to You and You alone, for You are in control. I want my heart to break for what breaks Yours. Move me, change me, transform me. In Your name, Jesus. Amen.
