At What Cost
But avoid foolish controversies, genealogies, dissensions, and quarrels about the law, for they are unprofitable and worthless. As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him, knowing that such a person is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned. Titus 3:9-11
INSIGHT
Everything in life has turned into a competition. The activities I remember as a kid have become game shows, or now have trophies if you can do it better than everyone else. Even churches and faith have become a place of competition.
You might have already been exposed to the competitions within the church world. It can look like a church is only concerned about bigger numbers, more members, and greater recognition. They use topics that lead to division and take their stand for all of their members to know. Some of these debates have continued for hundreds of years.
Some of the theological hot buttons include things like divine sovereignty vs. human responsibility, predestination vs. free will, the act of baptism, and the practice of communion. This list only scratches the surface. Some take it a step further and bypass the theological debates and dive headfirst into personal preferences of worship music, which version of the Bible to use, the volume of the microphones, the color of the carpet, what coffee to serve, and so on.
The thing about “winning” is that it comes at a cost. One can win a debate and lose a relationship at the same time.
In a perfect world, we would be able to have conversations about tough topics and come out on the other side closer with respect for each other. Yet, today’s trend is that you must win at all costs. If you want to be viewed as a true winner, you have to be willing to stake everything in what you believe and stick to it.
For those of us who are Christ-followers, we should see that winning was not the way of Jesus. The way of Jesus was love, and it will forever be love. In every moment where Jesus was faced with picking a side, He chooses the person instead. As we fight to win our arguments and defend our beliefs, we end up using it as ammo against the other person. We drift away from the conversation and turn it into a confrontation. The reality is, winning an argument is never worth losing a relationship. One of the best practices we can develop is to pull back on conversations when emotions are flaring up, and words are beginning to sting.
Jesus never wavered in thinking relationships first. People tried to question Him, change His mind, and even trick Him, but Jesus never changed His stance, nor did He hurt others along the way. Jesus knew the value of conversations, and more importantly, Jesus knew the value of humanity.
So, as we journey through this life, we will face some heated arguments. Every four years they seem more heated than usual. Even among other Christ-followers there is a temptation to be right over being kind and patient. May we be willing to take the loss of being right knowing that the tradeoff could be winning a relationship. May we be willing to lay down the temptation to win at all costs knowing that the person on the other side is far more valuable. May we enter into the work of Jesus, and be willing to take a loss for the sake of pointing others towards our Savior.
REFLECTION
Where are you struggling with being right over being kind?
How does the way Jesus prioritized people provide you with a framework for how you invest and interact with others?
PRAYER
Father, thank you for being a Savior who loves so perfectly and so well. I am grateful that You have gone before me and that Your life shows me a better way. I lay down my desire to be right, and offer it up to You. Help my heart be molded in a way that treats others the way You treat me. May every conversation be a chance to reflect You. I love you Father, and pray everything in Your holy name, Amen.
Port City writer Davy Nance wrote today’s devotional.
