#3: The Practice of NOT HAVING TO HAVE THE LAST WORD (Empathy)

One line too much. One comment too many. One @ too far. We couldn't help ourselves firing back a response; we just had to have the last word. After all, it was our responsibility to help the other person see the error of their ways. We don't listen to understand; we debate to be declared the victor. A conversation quickly turns into a heated exchange, and eventually, it is an all-out verbal battle of wills. The practice of not having to have the last word frees us from getting stuck in one of the most vicious cycles in our culture. It helps us see that one can win the discussion while losing the relationship and so much more. Countless friendships have been dissolved, and hearts hardened because of our inability to zip our lips. Saying no to speaking up doesn't mean that our point is suddenly vindicated or the consequences of the person's ignorance will come pouring on their head like a torrent. The work God does through this practice is far more subversive. We remind ourselves that we don't stand on issues but walk with people. Giving up our need to have the last word is a declaration that we trust God with the other person and a recognition that we care more about them than the issue that keeps us divided. Empathy takes root in our hearts. What also emerges is a willingness to see and understand - to listen first and speak later.