“When I Kept Silent” - Psalm 32 (Day 2)

Yesterday we began our journey through Psalm 32 with a reminder from King David about the freedom found in forgiveness; David went as far as calling those who embrace God's forgiveness "blessed." Even though many of us comprehend that Christ covered our sins and counts them against us no more through His sacrifice on the cross, we struggle to embrace this reality in our hearts fully. We reason this news is too good to be true, so we doubt it, keep our struggles hidden, and hold on to shame and condemnation. Today, as we delve deeper into Psalm 32, we'll spend some time looking at the toll hidden struggles take on our mind, body, and soul. This topic will indeed be weighty, so before we begin, I want to provide space for you to pray about where your heart is heavy and what role unspoken struggles play a part in it. 

As we begin, let these encouraging words from Psalm 32:1-2 wash over you and set the tone for today’s devotional: 

Psalm 32:1-2 says this:

1 Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.

2 Blessed is the one whose sin the Lord does not count against them and in whose spirit is no deceit.

We are prone to underestimate the length of Christ’s forgiveness and the depth of His love. It’s why we need this constant reminder: because we stand forgiven, we are blessed beyond measure. Now, as we move forward and spend some time in verses 3 and 4, notice the stark contrast between the freedom found in forgiveness and the burden of keeping our struggles hidden.

Psalm 32:3-4 says this:

3 When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.

4 For day and night your hand was heavy on me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer.

Take a moment to reflect on what you just read:

• What happened when David remained silent about his struggles?

David recalls the damage hidden sin caused to his heart and the burden that comes from living a double life. He was weak, miserable, and stricken with grief. Little by little, his silence ate away at him - with every ache and pain being self-inflicted. Later on in the Gospels, during Jesus' interaction with the Samaritan woman, Jesus refers to Himself as "the spring of living water," going as far as to say  that those who drink from it will never find themselves thirsty again (John 4). So, it makes sense that David compares his experience to being parched and dry - his strength sapped as in the heat of summer. Sin separates and divides, pushing us away from God, the source of life. Rather than thriving, hidden struggles have us living empty. Romans 6:23 declares that the wages of sin is death, so when we choose to cling to our struggles, we settle for spending our days carrying around dead weight. David says that he "kept silent" - the longer we attempt to keep things under wraps, the louder our stubbornness, pride, and shame encourage us to continue with this silent charade. 

Take a moment and consider…In what ways are shame and stubbornness causing you to remain silent about your sin and struggles? 

Read today’s passage slowly one more time:

Psalm 32:3-4 says this:

3 When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.

4 For day and night your hand was heavy on me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer.

Rather than confessing, we often engage in sin management. We rationalize, justify,  try to explain away, and  manage the unmanageable. When there is sin in our lives, we want nothing more than to be left alone and hide our struggles. Sadly, hiding erodes our relationship with God and damages our relationship with others.We go crazy attempting to keep up this game of deception. We distance ourselves. We grow defensive. This juggling act can only go on for so long until one of the balls finally drops. If God didn't design our hearts and souls to bear sin, how do we reconcile this with our desire to manage it? Our lives depend on getting found. There is no healing in hiding. To come out of hiding means to stop trying to cover our faults and sins. Only when we ask God to forgive our sins will we experience absolute joy, and relief from our guilt. Repentance is a statement of fact and an acceptance of responsibility. It requires throwing ourselves before God and asking for His already promised and demonstrated mercy. 

So, as we begin to wrap up our time together, we want to provide you some space to respond to what we read and maybe to what God is trying to say to you through Psalm 32. First, take a moment to process this question…Where are you hiding your brokenness? How is this influencing your relationships with others and your intimacy with God? 

Another question to consider is this…How can you shed the burden of your hidden struggles by bringing them to God with open arms and verbalizing them? 

PRAYER

Father God, for far too long, I have refused to be honest with the places in my heart where disobedience reigns. 

The weight of this burden has stunted my growth and staled my pursuit of You. 

Let today be the day I come out of hiding. 

May I stop excusing or justifying my behavior and finally expose those dark places to Your incredible light.

Thank you for covering my sin and extending the mercy I do not deserve. Amen.