What You Say
You should be wise in what you say. Then the one who is against you will be ashamed and will not be able to say anything bad about you. Titus 2:8
Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues. Proverbs 17:28
To answer before listening– that is folly and shame. Proverbs 18:13
INSIGHT
Words are a powerful tool that we can use for good and harm. The only thing words are incapable of doing is remaining neutral.
No other subject in the book of Proverbs appears more than that of the tongue. On average, in every chapter, you'll find 'words,' 'tongue,' 'lips' or 'mouth' mentioned five times. These words appear in Proverbs no less than 150 times. King Solomon, the author of this book, goes into great detail about how one's speech gives a glimpse into their character and heart.
Want to know what a person is like? Solomon suggests listening to the words that come out of their mouth. Jesus confirms this line of thinking in Matthew 12:34 when he says, "the mouth speaks what the heart is full of." And as we continue to explore the book of Titus, we see Paul urges us to be wise in the words that we speak.
Our words matter. Our words reveal.
One of the major themes throughout the book of Proverbs is how our speech tests how wise we have become. When it comes to our speech, wisdom displays itself through self-control. Solomon suggested taking a 'less is more' approach to our tongue. He urges us to be quiet and listen before a word leaves our lips. Unfortunately, many of us take the "speak now; think later" approach to our words.
Anyone who has suffered a nasty case of "foot in mouth" disease understands the beauty of Solomon's advice. Our thoughts seem to be going in slow motion, but our words have the uncanny ability to spill out of our mouths at warp speed. As we clumsily attempt to grasp those words and take them back at all costs, someone is left confused, hurt, or embarrassed.
In the heat of the moment, have you said words you regretted later? Have you failed to read the room and ignored the context clues? Are you quick to speak, causing you to lose sight or completely disregard someone else's story? I know I am.
What would happen if we paused and considered the impact of our words before speaking? Imagine the difference if we thought about, or even prayed about, everything we said before we said it. Remember, we can always learn more by listening than talking.
Counting our words teaches us to be conscious of them and their power to bless or curse those around us. A language inventory is a starting point for taking control of our tongue and becoming stewards of our words. Over the next few days, watch for patterns and trends in your speech. While recording your findings, reflect on the following questions:
Which phrases do you see appear most often? How much do you talk? How do you tend to use your words? Are there certain times of the day or night when your speech gets out of hand? Do the words you use differ depending on the people you are around? Are there certain people you tend to blow up at, gossip about, or harshly criticize? What emotions seem to drive your speech?
Taking a moment to ponder the answer to these questions will help you assess where you are with this ongoing struggle.
REFLECTION
What emotions seem to drive your speech?
How can you collect your thoughts and ponder your words before engaging in a crucial conversation?
PRAYER
God, may I give thought to the words I speak. I want my speech to uplift others and represent You well. When I am ready to lose my cool, respond with bitterness or lash out, may I pause and reflect on what is driving my words. Let me bring that ugliness to You and trade it for love, patience, and grace. In Your name, Jesus. Amen.