Measuring Your Faith
For the source of Your pleasure is not in my performance or the sacrifices I might offer to You. The fountain of Your pleasure is found in the sacrifice of my shattered heart before You. You will not despise my tenderness as I humbly bow down at Your feet. Psalm 51:16-17 TPT
Insight
One summer, I attended a Christian leadership conference for college-aged women. Though I expected to leave the weekend feeling encouraged and renewed, I left feeling so, so small. I was flooded with insecurity and fear that I was not “doing enough” for God.
One day during the conference, we were divided into small discussion groups. The women before me gave me their full “super Christian” resumes, and I couldn’t even begin to compete. I couldn’t believe my ears. One girl told me that she woke up at 3 o’clock in the morning every day to make sure she got at least 3 hours with the Lord. This girl was in her twenties! My measly 30-minute quiet times felt like crumbs in comparison. The women around me seemed totally all-in for God. They made it seem like doubt never touched them. At that moment, I felt like I was the only one who wrestled with God on the regular. I felt like my faith wasn’t good enough. I was flooded with shame. If these women knew about the sins I struggle with and the temptations I so easily (and regularly) give into, how would they view me?
In Christian circles, we need to normalize having seasons of “weak” faith. Seasons of struggle are a natural and valuable part of life with God. If we cannot be vulnerable with one another, how can we expect ourselves to come vulnerably before the Lord?
The reality is that our faith is never going to be rock-solid—and God doesn’t expect it to be. The only One Who ever has (or ever will) attain perfect faith is Christ Himself. Many of us will go through seasons where our faith is hanging on by a thread—where we feel one step away from abandoning God altogether. In these seasons of heartbreak and doubt, God is still pleased with our faith. His heart is moved, even when all we can muster is faith the size of a mustard seed. God is forever pleased by our faith because Jesus’ faith has satisfied His heart, and Jesus’ track record has become our own.
He doesn’t measure up our faith the way we so often do. All He wants is for us to come to Him, regardless of what burdens we are carrying and what mistakes we’ve made. The foremost measure of our faith is not the amount of scripture we can recite, the percentage of our income we tithe, or the consistency of our church attendance (though these disciplines are extremely important and admirable). The extent of our faith is not based on how well we are “performing” as Christians. The health of our faith is measured by our willingness to lay our soul bare before Him. Faith is at its strongest when we continue to come to His feet, even when we feel hopeless, shattered, and plagued by shame.
God, in His perfection, only lacks one thing: brokenness. Our weakness is all we have to offer Him that He doesn’t already possess. The greatest act of faith is bringing our weaknesses before Him.
Reflection
What rubric have you been using to measure your faith? How can you trust that your faith is lovely in the eyes of God, even if it feels “weak”?
Are you afraid to come to God when you aren’t “performing well” as a Christian?
Prayer
Abba, thank You for not measuring my faith based on human standards. Thank You for loving me all the same, whether my faith is consistent and steady, or is falling apart at the seams. Thank You for reminding me that the greatest gift I can offer You is my brokenness. Help me to come boldly before Your throne, trusting that my faith doesn’t have to “measure up,” because Jesus’ faith has already met Your high and holy standards. You aren’t surprised when I struggle; You promised that I would have trials in this world. Your heart breaks far more when I am afraid to come to You in my weakness. I love You, Lord, and I trust that Your righteousness is enough. Let my faith be centered on what You have done for me, not what I am “doing for You.” Amen.
Port City writer Kate Redenbaugh wrote today’s devotional.