Friends and Family

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” Proverbs 17:17

Insight

“It’s hard to make friends when you’re an adult. I think that’s the greatest miracle of Jesus. He has 12 best friends in his thirties, and they weren’t his wife’s best friends’ husbands.” -John Mulaney

Most of us probably chuckled at this comedian’s observation because it resonates with us that making and having friends is a challenge as an adult. When you are a child, friendships may be a little easier because there are less demands. But eventually, life has a way of taking friendships from a natural occurrence to something you have to put on the calendar.

I remember in high school the optimistic sentiments of, “We will stay in touch and be friends forever!” Yet, here I sit 11 years removed from a graduating class of 240 people, and I can confidently say that two of those people are still my friends. Crazy enough, this can be considered an accomplishment!

So, what about my relationship with these two made us pass the test of time, while others did not?

The biggest test of a relationship is its ability to go through adversity with each other. Adversity breeds intimacy and commitment between human beings. While I have many friends, the number I have to come alongside me in adversity is significantly smaller.

This isn’t a bad thing. Not every friend can be there in adversity as they could have a full plate as well. But everyone needs to have a person or two that will step into adversity with them. Often the greatest challenge to adversity is not going through it but going through it alone.

The disciples were not perfect, and it's evident that until the resurrection, the disciples doubted the truth that Jesus was the Messiah. But, they followed, they watched, they leaned in, and eventually they suffered. Because they followed and eventually believed, they suffered adversity on a great level for Jesus. And as they suffered adversity, they knew Jesus was with them.

You and I get to have the same promise: in the worst adversity life has to offer, Jesus is with us. Jesus is with us and He is working all adversity to a greater purpose. But Jesus has also invited others to be with us.

So, think about your life. Do you have a brother or sister in Christ that would willingly go through adversity with you? Do you have someone to encourage you? Challenge you? Cry with you? Sit in silence with you?

If not, I encourage you to find that person or be that person for someone else. It might take time, but the journey to find someone is crucial. The best first step is always prayer. Ask God to help reveal someone in your life that could be the brother/sister you need for walking through adversity.

Second: be real. This is the awkward step of willingness to share it all; the uncensored version of what you are facing. We all know the risk of vulnerability, but it is the only way someone can truly know you and walk with you in adversity.

Now, all this may seem overwhelming and daunting, but I have a great resource for you: your church. Church is one of the best places to find a friend who loves and a brother/sister to walk with you through adversity. The heartbeat of Port City Community Church is to reach people and help them walk with God. We want you to be seen, valued, loved, and connected.

Thanks to Port City, I have people who have walked with my family through financial struggles, birth of a child, a cancer diagnosis, and so much more. I know I am loved and walked with thanks to the people at Port City, and it just might be the place where you can find your community as well.

Reflection

• Do you have someone in your life who loves you and can walk with you through adversity?

• Whether you have a person or not, pray for those relationships. God never intended for life to be done alone!

Prayer

Father, thank you for always being the One who loves at all times and walks with me through adversity. I also thank you that you have created life in such a way that we can be a source of love and comfort for those in adversity. Help me to be someone who loves others and walks with them in their own adversity, knowing that those relationships reflect your heart. I trust that when I am in need of that relationship, the people you have sent to be in my life will be ready with open arms. Thank you for being you Father, and I pray in your name, Amen.

Port City writer Davy Nance wrote today’s devotional.