Every Ounce of Wisdom
Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm. Proverbs 13:20
Insight
Over the years, our parents, family members, teachers, and coaches shared with us words of wisdom about life. Sometimes the advice came out of left field and didn’t make much sense. For example, how could one’s eyes be bigger than their stomach? Would our faces really get stuck that way if we didn’t stop with that smirk?
Yet, among the random and silly advice were insightful nuggets that helped us navigate life: Money doesn’t grow on trees. Treat others like you want to be treated. It’s better to give than receive. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
If we soaked up every ounce of wisdom they told us, the trajectory of our lives would have been drastically different. Sadly, all of us can think of times when their words went “in one ear and out the other.” Because of this, we experienced a lot of heartbreak, confusion, pain, and shame. Failing to put into practice what we heard is what led to many of our greatest regrets.
Take, for instance, the area of friendships and relationships. Our parents went on and on about avoiding the drama, not falling for peer pressure, and that you need to be a friend to get a friend. They urged us to steer clear of the wrong crowd. Mom and dad told us that it’s easier for those we hang around to pull us down than for us to pull them up. They asked whether we would jump off a bridge if our friends did.
As we attempted to develop our sense of identity, many of their words fell on deaf ears. We shook our heads and then went about our business, trying to find the one thing we craved the most: ACCEPTANCE. By nature, we are acceptance magnets and gravitate towards those who accept us and love us. This force is so powerful that we were willing to make unwise decisions just to fit in and find our tribe. We exchanged our integrity for whatever acceptance and love we could get.
Some believe the allure of peer pressure lessens as we grow older. The influence our friendships and relationships have on the person we are becoming is minimal now as adults. But, it’s simply not true. The same truth that went “in one ear and out the other” is just as relevant today.
Scripture and science show us time and time again that our connection points form and mold us. They take their toll on our hearts or make them come alive. We are the sum of the people that surround us. Quite simply, our friends will determine the quality and direction of our lives.
Because this is true, we must pause and determine the direction of the influence. What are connections causing chaos? Who is dragging us down? Which relationships are hurting our attitude, actions, and perspective? Where are we looking for acceptance in all the wrong places? How can we cut off this influence? On the flip side, what relationships are helping us flourish? Who in our lives spurs us on to pursue God’s heart? What connections cause us to gain confidence in our character? How can we tap into these relationships and up the influence they have on our lives?
We must choose our friends wisely. We can’t let this critical truth go “in one ear and out the other.”
Reflection
How are your relationships and friendships shaping the person you are becoming?
Prayer
God, help me stop and take an inventory of the people who influence my life. Shine light on the connection points that are inhibiting my growth. Bring to mind those relationships that encourage and spur me on in my walk with You. Open my eyes to the reality that I am accepted and loved by You unconditionally. Rather than running to others for that need to be fulfilled, may I rest securely in Your love. In Your name, Jesus. Amen.