Defining Anger
You have heard that our ancestors were told, 'You must not murder. If you commit murder, you are subject to judgment.' But I say, if you are even angry with someone, you are subject to judgment! Matthew 5:21-22
Insight
What is taking place within our hearts when we get angry? Why are we so quick to seek vengeance and retribution? There are numerous reasons for our amped-up emotions. Here are just a few drivers:
Frustration over our circumstances or a lack of control over a situation.
Unmet expectations.
Unaddressed issues of the heart.
Hurt pride or selfishness.
Being disrespected or feeling misunderstood.
At the core of each one is the fact that we wanted something and didn't get it. But, unfortunately, we spend more effort trying to justify our response than dealing with our anger.
James 4 tells us that the source of our quarrels and fights "come from the evil desires at war within you. You want what you don't have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can't get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them."
Kill seems like a pretty harsh word. But, in Matthew 5:22, Jesus placed the anger we hold toward another person on the same playing field as the sin of murder. There's a danger in disregarding our anger or taking our rage lightly. It is no wonder that Scripture urges us not to let the sun go down on our anger (Ephesians 4:26) and to do everything in our power to squelch it (Colossians 3:8, Ephesians 4:31).
Selfishness, ungratefulness, and impatience often define our anger. Yet, living in this fallen and mad world, sometimes, our anger is justified. But, we must be careful not to work to justify our anger and unforgiveness because it places us on shaky ground. We either become a vigilante who takes matters into our own hands, or we play the victim card for the rest of our days.
The longer we let anger fester, the more it clouds our judgment. In a rage, we can spin out of control. Our angry responses get us nowhere. It leaves our hearts extremely vulnerable and causes us not to think clearly. Proverbs 27:4 compares anger to a flood in its power to destroy and harm. It consumes our thoughts and dictates our actions (Proverbs 29:22). Getting angry rarely solves problems and tends to produce more conflict and trouble. Losing our cool only makes things worse because we act like fools (Proverbs 14:7, Ecclesiastes 7:9).
But, most importantly, the anger of man does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. (James 1:20). Our rage will bait us into doing things we regret and destroy the things that are most important to us - our relationships.
Identifying our rage and what fuels it is the first step to conquering anger. But we can't stop there. We've got to go farther than anger management. Anger is not something to be managed; it must be mastered.
Reflection
If you don't define your anger, your anger will define you. In what ways have you allowed your anger to shape your identity?
Prayer
God, instead of trying to justify my anger, may I spend my energy on mastering my rage. Too often, I take my anger lightly. I lose sight of the distance it creates in my relationships. But, most importantly, when I display selfish anger, I cease reflecting Your heart and Your character. Help me to become a person who is patient, loving, and forgiving. Amen.