Amidst
The Lord would speak with Moses face to face, just as a man speaks with his friend. Exodus 33:11a
Insight
"Don't talk to God like that; He isn't your buddy! God is HOLY!" Those were the words that belted from my childhood Sunday school teacher just after I uttered the word "dude" during a prayer. Depending on your experience with church, speaking to God like a friend might make you a little uncomfortable. It's easy to think that a casual friendliness with God stands in opposition to His vastness, holiness, or majesty. I mean, should you call God "dude"? If you are 31 years old like me, should you call anyone dude? We won't go there right now. But what if God's holiness informs our friendship with Him? What if it is because of majesty that we can be near?
When choosing My One Word last year, I was coming off what felt like a losing streak. I struggle to stick with things long-term, so much so, that come December, I had forgotten what my one word even was. I remember doing the personal retreat and struggling to think about how it had impacted me. Sometimes it is easy to morph your word into a new years resolution and wear yourself out as you try to accomplish some perceived goal, and I knew I didn't want that.
While we all want to be in a constant state of growth in our relationship with Jesus, more often than not, it can turn into a constant state of striving. Under our effort, we try to wring everything we can out of our quiet times and prayers. I didn't want to continue feeling that same pressure, and I felt God pushing me to be okay with rest. But if you are going to take a load off, sit by the river, and drink some water, then it is worth asking: Where am I going to sit? What river will I be by? What water will I drink? With our tendency to strive and a warped view of what it means to grow, the last place we may want to rest is with God.
I had just finished writing a sermon on the Golden Calf that we read about in Exodus 32 when I came across the verse we read above. I read it almost enviously when I first encountered it. Moses did what? Talked to God like a friend?! That doesn't mesh with what I have thought to be true. Especially not the God of the Old Testament! He is the mean one, right?! We quickly fail to remember that the same God in Exodus is the God who was fully revealed in Jesus. It is astounding to think about Moses's friendship with God, especially when we recognize that Moses spent a lot of that time advocating for other people.
It was out of that feeling of envy that my word for last year was born: Amidst. God amidst His people. I knew that if I was uncomfortable with the prospect of God being my friend, something in my spirit needed to shift. I knew that if I wanted to be like Moses, advocating for the people in my life and loving them well, I needed to find rest in friendship with God. "Amidst" informed my personal walk with Jesus and how I prayed and loved those around me. Those are the most powerful words. The words that are not kept to ourselves or written in privacy, but the words that worn on our sleeves. The words that are obvious and evident, whether through beautiful progress or persistent failure. As you ponder your word this year, don't shove the process in a box. Pay attention to your heart, spirit, and places where you feel wildly uncomfortable.
Reflection
What spaces do you tend to feel uncomfortable in your relationship with God? These could be behaviors you try to hide or stories you encounter that leaves you unsettled.
What would have to happen for you to be more vulnerable with God in those spaces?
Prayer
God, amid my striving, may I rest in the reality that You are my friend. Help me to recognize that everything flows from my connection with You. Remind me that my relationship with You impacts and influences how I respond and engage with everyone who crosses my path. In Your name, Jesus. Amen.
Geoff Banks, Student Ministry Care and Community Coordinator, wrote today's devotional.